Being Grey ain’t Easy

Kermit the frog has been quoted as saying “It isn’t easy being green”. Which I believe is very true, but as a former intelligence officer, being grey isn’t all its cracked up to be either.

The term “the grey man” is an old (now misogynistic) espionage term relating to an individual who can go
unnoticed, and needs to go unnoticed to be able to blend into their surroundings. Fortunately for me, depending on the circumstances, I was rather “grey” most of the time, not too tall, not too short, and not overly athletic or rotund. The term also relates to how much attention one gathers from others in a given situation. Are you loudest voice in the room? Do you need to dominate the conversation? Well, maybe you shouldn’t. Or at least not if you’re trying to avoid being noticed while doing your job.

This is not to say that all spies are dumpy and drab, with no social skills and timid voices. During my career I worked with some very attractive colleagues who did quite well in all aspects of their jobs, were engaging conversationalists and could give a speech in a room of hundreds, without the need for a microphone. In fact, Intelligence agencies look to hire individuals who have a certain level of attractiveness, who are social and well spoken, it helps when recruiting sources, managing relationships and making contacts. But, this is usually tempered with an ability to match the situation when required. Think of James Bond at a cocktail party, that black tuxedo and bow tie. Right style, right place and right time. However, if a spy looks like they just walked off the cover of a fashion magazine when they’re trying to conduct some reconnaissance in a downtrodden neighbourhood…. Not so great for maintaining a low profile.

Being grey is dependent on the situation and environment. There are circumstances when you don’t naturally fit in. It’s hard to look like you belong when you’re the only non national at the shopping mall. Or you’re wearing sweatpants and everyone else is business casual. So how do you get “grey” when you have to? You fall back on what you can control. Conducting operations in foreign countries can often be difficult because depending on your ethnic make up and your language abilities you will stand out. But, you can mitigate the potential issues of being a noticeable spy doing your spy work, if you focus on areas and times that lend themselves to when and where foreign nationals visit that country. For example, travelling to, and about, a foreign country as a tourist results in you standing out, you’re not a local. However, travelling during high tourist season to tourist destinations may allow for a bit more cover. Hide with the heard. It works for zebras.

I personally have travelled to several countries for both leisure and work and trying to “go unnoticed” or stay in the grey, is always advantageous. But what do you do when you’re tall, attractive and stop traffic just by walking down the street (Never a problem I had). Well this is where the cover of darkness comes into play. See being “grey” can also refer to the lighting during an operation. Most of the time when I engaged in operational activity, I used the cover of darkness to conduct clandestine meetings. When driving, it’s harder to see whose behind the wheel, when in a restaurant, depending on the atmosphere, it’s less likely that you’ll be seen when the tables are lit by only candlelight and you’re in a properly placed booth.

Speaking of modes of transportation, it’s all fine and nice to have your red convertible for a fun weekend drive, but honestly, do you think James Bond would pick up a potential source of information in his Austin Martin DB5. Well, although it would look cool, it would draw attention, the opposite of what real intelligence officers and spies want to do.

However, being grey comes at a cost, in many other aspects of your life. For instance; want to join a volunteer organization for a great cause, well, better think twice. As an intelligence officer you have to always be thinking of where the information you provide will and can go. Before my career as an Intelligence officer, I was a Big Brother, and it was a very satisfying volunteer opportunity, but it became more of an issue when I started providing information about my career choices. Sure you can always fall back on “I work for the government and do policy work” but there is always an issue with keeping just enough of the truth away from those you interact with.

The same goes for dating. Why do spies date spies? The answer is easy, you can start a relationship with someone from the beginning that doesn’t involve a lie or omission of the truth. Think of this scenario for instance, “I know we’ve been dating for some time now, but I need to tell you something.” The other person is thinking, “Ok, is this a spouse I don’t know about, a horrible disease they’ve been hiding, what?” The spy continues with “I was able to get clearance from work to tell you, so I’m just gonna say it…” the other person is thinking “Clearance… from work… WTF?”

Yes, now imagine the person you’ve been dating for almost a year trying to wrap their head around what you do, why you lied and how you needed to clear it with work. It can lead to some very difficult questions and some resentment by the person who just found out you’re a spy. Sure, there’s always the chance that they think, “Wow, that’s so cool, tell me all about it.” And you have to look at them with a blank stare and say, “well, I really can’t get into details”.

This continues for a the remainder of the relationship. “Hey, I’m busy tonight, work thing, can’t get into it.” Meeting new people can also be a challenge. I spent most of an evening at a dinner party talking about how to reformat hard drives and what’s the best laptop to buy, because my spouse decided that she tell people she met that I worked in Information Technology. Word to the wise, if you’re going to make up a career, know a little about it first. This can sometimes be referred to as “snap cover”, where you are required to hastily improvise a believable cover story. This could relate to where you grew up, where
you work, why you speak with an accent, and more.

“Going grey” and “Staying Grey” can have a real affect on your wardrobe. Humans naturally notice certain things. This dates back to our ancestors who, in order to survive were aware of: movement, colour and light. When something moved and was colourful or had cast shadows upon itself or something else, our ancestors took notice. With the question of whether this was “predator or prey”.

As such when you “go grey” a bright orange bomber jacket might not be the best choice for a surveillance run before a source meet. I once participated in a training operation in the middle of winter. The only winter jacket I had at the time was a reversible red ski jacket with a purple liner. I was quite warm for walking around in – 15 degree Celsius weather, and would have been very fashionable on the sloops. But for the purpose of this exercise, I stood out like a sore thumb. Live and learn. Or in this case, learn so that you can keep on living.

As a spy you try to be fashionable with greys, blues, blacks and other colours that don’t attract a lot of attention or cast a drastic shadow upon themselves. “Going grey” and “Staying Grey” ain’t easy, as it affects many aspects of a spy’s life, but it could be life shortened if you can’t learn how to blend in and not attract undue attention.